On choosing the term “laziest perfectionist”

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After last night’s scanner-ramble, I decided to do some internet searching on the phrases “laziest perfectionist” and “lazy perfectionist.”  I suppose I’ll start with how I came to name this page the way I did and then get on with what I found after searching.

There is a supposed Bill Gates quote about hiring lazy people to perform difficult work because they will find the easiest way to do it.  Wasn’t really able to confirm it; I would say from a brief gander my estimate is a 70% likelihood that this isn’t the equivalent of an urban legend.  Even if he didn’t say it, it’s still a valid point.

I’ve always had a lazy streak and yet engage in neurotic behaviour.  I take a very low dose anxiety medication (10 mg citalopram /celexa to be specific) and attend counselling about every six weeks.  I work full time, take part-time classes, volunteer here and there, help friends with their resumes, do a bit of hairdressing, am an artist with an online “you design it, we handle the sales & manufacturing” site, read A LOT, randomly take on full-day art projects that always take multiple days, travel whenever possible, check out lots of cultural events, and still like to sleep for fourteen hours at a time at least once every weekend.  Every time I do something, I come up with ways to do it faster and at a better quality the next time (if I ever do it again).  

Work sucks.  Play is far superior.

Thus, finding ways to get work done in the easiest and fastest way tends to be an obsession.  Because – I want time to dick around.  That’s what I think lazy perfection is about; being so work-adverse that you actively find ways to do it so exceptionally that you don’t have to do it anymore.

My interpretation seems to differ from others’.  Urban Dictionary’s present top definition (March 3, 2017) of a lazy perfectionist, submitted by RayofSunshine, is “Wanting everything perfect and having high standards, but not have [sic] the will to do what’s necessary to reach them.”  A blog I found had a similar thought (though I question the lucidity of a self-proclaimed lazy perfectionist who has a fitness-related section on their page), and a couple websites that were so frighteningly similar to one another that I’m worried I unintentionally uncovered plagiarism.  You can check them out here and here and decide for yourself.

For me, lazy perfection can be exemplified with my morning routine.  You may expect a perfectionist to have full make-up, styled hair, and curated outfits.  I certainly maintain a particular “style,” sometimes charmingly referred to as eclectic, sometimes – more painfully – as interesting, and once, for a reason still unclear to me, as matronly. lazy perfectionist has their make-up done… likely to the lowest acceptable standards.  Very possibly they use the Jeremy Renner pro-tip: brows, lashes, lips.  I tend to stop after “lashes.”  I still manage to get told I look nice, particularly when I take a whole fifteen minutes…

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